She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
