Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
