I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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