i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
