i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
