If that was your dad, he is hot
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
