If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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