Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
