Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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