Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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