you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
