you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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