I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
