peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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