you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
