i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
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Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
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You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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