take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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