weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
