i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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