we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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