My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
