i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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