Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
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We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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