community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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