I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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