Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
