You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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