Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
