Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Randomize
