Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
