No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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