dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
