He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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