i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
time to smoke my breakfast
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
