he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
