Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize