did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
