She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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