she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
