On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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