Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
