Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
