I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
