I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
