what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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