My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
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We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
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I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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