jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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