Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just found puke in my bra..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
