hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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