Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
