Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
