haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
