i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I came so hard my ears popped.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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