Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
