The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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