I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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