Midget sex pt 2 tonight
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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