ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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