Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
