Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
