I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
