fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
