you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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