she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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