He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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