she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize