All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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